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Sevarius Jr.'s LiveJournal:
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| Monday, July 13th, 2009 | | 11:45 pm |
Foreign culture or not - how many fucking drugs did the director of this film take to dream up this little musical number. Most distressingly, I find the song oddly hypnotic. IT IS HAUNTING ME. | | Friday, June 19th, 2009 | | 9:42 pm |
| | Monday, March 16th, 2009 | | 9:02 pm |
| | Friday, February 20th, 2009 | | 9:23 pm |
| | Monday, October 27th, 2008 | | 8:47 pm |
LEVEL 4 CLEARANCE REQUIRED
Security Clearance Adequate: Access Authorized Item #: SCP-008 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-008 samples are an extreme biological hazard and all related protocols apply. Incineration and irradiation measures will be deployed in the event of political or military action which may result in the facility being dismantled, a power failure or zero communications from operatives or outside channels during any given eight hour period. The quarantine period for operatives leaving the facility is four months. If a breach has occurred, incineration and irradiation measures shall be deployed. It should be the policy of all facilities not to prepare an evacuation procedure. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- Description: SCP-008 is a complex prion found stored in each of the known G2 sites. Research into SCP-008 is highly classified and primarily aimed at preventing research which may lead to the synthesis of SCP-008 in the distant future. Symptomatic functions of the SCP-008 prion will be given. 100% lethality. Transmission through exposed mucus membranes and all bodily fluids. Not airborne. Not waterborne. 100% infectious. Theoretically symptoms will first appear at a maximum of 3 hours after infection. Symptoms are flu-like with high fever and severe dementia in later stages. Coma onset approximately 20 hours after first symptoms appear and 12 hours after noticeable dementia. Coma onset will be considered onset of death. A period of sporadic cellular necrosis occurs which will eventually resemble gangrene, surviving tissue assumes it's original function and is highly resilient. Red blood cells infected by SCP-008 increase oxygen storage capacity resulting in slower blood flow and increased muscle endurance and strength. Nervous and muscular systems are unaffected by total organ failure for several hours. Metabolism may decrease to extremely low levels allowing subject to survive for over 10 years without nutrition. High blood viscosity results in negligible blood flow from gunshot, puncture and slash related injuries. Conditioned behavior, motor controls and instinctive behavioral mechanisms are damaged, cognitive abilities are severely retarded and erratic. Animals experience excessive brain necrosis and are inactive. Subjects can adapt to their damaged nervous systems but are limited to basic physical activities including standing up, balancing on 2 legs, walking, biting, grabbing and crawling. Subject will energetically move towards sights, sounds and smells it associates with living humans. Subject will attempt to ingest living humans if physical contact is made. Neutralizing subjects requires significant cranial trauma. There is strong evidence to suggest SCP-008 itself did not form naturally on earth, since variants of similar complexity would have displaced much of the ecosystem. In 1959 a short collaborative effort with the USSR to locate G2 sites and eliminate SCP-008 was negotiated following their discovery. The status of SCP-008 in Russian custody since collaboration ended is unknown. Addendum 008-1: SCP-500 has been found to be able to completely cure SCP-008 even in the advanced stages of the disease. | | Thursday, September 25th, 2008 | | 7:41 pm |
| | Saturday, September 6th, 2008 | | 9:53 pm |
Movie review time.
Dario Argento's Trauma - 5/10 This was Dario's big "American" picture, and it's basically a lot like all of his other giallo flicks. The plot is fairly simple - there's someone going around lopping off the heads of various people around town, via the use of this bizarre looking mechanized garrotte, and the killer only murders when it rains, but no one knows why the fuck why. But it all seems to be tied to a young girl, played here by Dario's real life daughter, Asia Argento. She's all fucked up emotionally, and in fact our introduction to her is our hero stopping her from a suicide attempt. Through a rather abrupt and poorly set-up sequence of events, her parents are murdered, leaving her without a place to go except into the arms of our hero, and though there's never any actual depiction of naughty business going on between them, it's just all sorts of creepy because our hero's probably around fucking 30 years old and lovely young Asia's maybe 16 at best. There's a subplot that involves a little boy who apparently lives next door to the killer, and this precocious little youngster manages to fit into the movie's ultimate resolution, but I won't spoil it for you. Anyway, eventually it seems like the killer has been caught, but they actually weren't, the REAL killer is still out there, and we get to see, in the end, what the killer's motivation was, and why they went about lopping off heads, and you sort of understand why they went apeshit crazy and did the things they did. Since this is one of Dario's later films, it's not really terrible, but it's not altogether good, as a lot of shit is just not developed well or just doesn't make sense, from a logical perspective. But I'm going to give it a solid five out of 10, and if you want to know why, I can sum it up in one succinct phrase: delicious jailbait Asia is delicious. I mean, you get to see her tits and everything. | | Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 | | 11:32 pm |
Sci-Fi news and a Uwe Boll review!!!
It's my goal to update my LJ some more, use it as an actual blog-type thing like it's supposed to be, so in keeping with that, I move ahead with this post. As per it's usual overall quest to bring us nothing but shitty reality shows and godawful "original" b-movie content, the Sci-Fi network has announced that it's cancelling Stargate: Atlantis after this, it's current and fifth, season. (link here: http://tv.ign.com/articles/901/901481p1.html ). They'll be doing an Atlantis movie or two, cause I guess that's made money for the SG1 crew. I'm not saying that Atlantis was the greatest sci-fi show on TV, or even that network, but I'd have to say I enjoy it. The only consolation, I suppose, is that they've agreed to greenlight the Stargate spinoff "Stargate Universe": http://www.thrfeed.com/2008/08/stargate-univer.htmlThe network is set to announce the order of a new series from MGM Television, “Stargate: Universe,” that will mark the third entry in Sci Fi’s longest-running original series franchise.
The greenlight comes on the heels of Sci Fi’s confirming Thursday that “Stargate: Atlantis” will not receive a sixth-season order. The “Universe” pickup ensures the continuation of the popular “Stargate” franchise, which has been on the air in various incarnations since 1997.
“Universe” will premiere as a two-hour movie early next year and will assume a regular hourly slot in the summer. Brad Wright and Robert Cooper, co-creators of “Stargate: SG-1” and “Atlantis,” will serve as executive producers and writers on the new series.
The new show will involve more space-based action than “SG-1” or “Atlantis.” With the “Star Trek” television franchise having folded in 2005 and Sci Fi’s “Battlestar Galactica” airing its final episodes next year, the network hopes “Universe” will become sci-fi fans’ new favorite space-travel series.
“We’ve had great success with ‘Enterprise’ repeats on Monday night, and there’s clearly an appetite for space opera as ‘Battlestar’ goes away,” Sci Fi president Dave Howe said. “There’s an opportunity to keep the space opera as part of our programming strategy.”
“Universe” introduces a team of explorers who find an ancient unmanned ship called the Destiny. Unable to return to Earth, the crew must fend for themselves aboard the ship, which has a preprogrammed mission taking them to the far reaches of the universe. (Full description below)
The series will employ a new cast of characters, with the network seeking a known performer for one lead role and fresh faces to play the rest of the ship’s crew. Appearances by former cast members from “SG-1” and “Atlantis” are very possible.
Howe said the new series will reinvigorate the franchise by targeting a younger audience.
“This is an opportunity to reinvent this franchise and make it relevant to a new generation,” Howe said. “We really don’t want to be more of the same. It’s going to build clearly off the existing franchise but with a cast that gives it a younger vibe.”
Said co-creators Wright and Cooper: “In ‘Universe,’ we plan to keep those elements that have made the franchise a success, such as adventure and humor, while breaking new ground in the relationships between mostly young and desperate explorers, thrust together and far from home. Above all, we believe the Stargate itself remains an enduring icon with infinite potential as a jumping-off point for telling stories.”
Sounds a bit unnervingly like Star Trek Voyager, and I'm dubious about that "cast with a younger vibe" remark....but I guess I'll give them the benefit of the doubt until I see how the new series is going to play out. It's probably a foolish hope on my part, but I would like to see Ben Browder pop up on this. Finally, just for fun, I'd like to post a review a friend of mine did for Uwe Boll's latest catastrophe in filmmaking, "Postal". He actually makes me want to see it, the film sounds so completely bizarre: Postal: 3/10
What. The FUCK. Was that?!
This movie absolutely epitomizes everything Uwe Boll stands for. It's his Citizen Kane... or his Plan 9 From Outer Space, depending on how you look at it. It's certainly the one movie which he deserves to be remembered for. It's like everything he's ever done, only more so. It's a pointless and unfaithful adaptation of a not-terribly-popular video game. It's, at times, hideously awful. Yet even more than in his previous movies, there's still some kind of diabolical inspiration here. As bad as Boll's movies are (and they can be unspeakably bad), they usually have this unified sense of lunatic purpose which make them readily recognizable as The Master's work. I'm glad to see that Postal is a return to that kind of who-cares mania; with his stuff like BloodRayne 2 and Dungeon Siege, he'd gotten a little more respectable and a lot more boring. It's a welcome sigh of relief that he's come back up (down?) to his old level.
But still, most people will hate this movie. How do you feel about a whole shitload of jokes about 9/11? Seriously. The FIRST SCENE in the movie is a comedic sequence about the hijackers on one of the WTC planes getting into an argument about how many virgins they're supposed to receive in heaven, chickening out and deciding to cancel the mission, and then the passengers bust in and cause them to accidentally crash into the tower. Yeah. Not making that up. Really happened. Now you know if you want to see this movie or not. And it demonstrates one of the more peculiar tendencies of Postal, which is that Boll aggressively chases down practically every taboo he can think of in a breathless race to deliberately be the most offensive movie in recent memory, or at least since Freddy Got Fingered.
Anyway, that first scene didn't even figure into the plot! It's just a bonus, thrown right up front to make people who don't "get the joke" angrily eject the DVD. It's about some anonymous guy only named Postal Dude, and he's played by Zack Ward, one of those guys who has been in a thousand things but I've never heard of him IMDB is my friend: apparently he was the infamous Farkus in A Christmas Story, okay. Ward actually does a hell of a job in a role where he's fucked from the start, and his charisma helps out the movie a whole lot whenever it wanders off like a retarded kid who spotted some dog turds and instinctively wants to put them in its mouth. And hey, if you thought that joke was funny, then you'll probably laugh a hell of a lot in this film.
So, Postal Dude has a shitty life, imagine a live-action version of Tom Goes To The Mayor, that's this guy. Lives in a shitty trailer park, has an obese hellspawn of a wife, can't find a job. Then he gets an offer from his uncle to rip off a bunch of the hot new toys of the season, the next Beanie Babies essentially, except that they're shaped like testicles. His uncle Dave is Dave Foley, and if you get creeped by the idea of a real good look at Dave Foley's tiny penis, you shall not pass. Meanwhile, Osama Bin Ladin and the Taliban are trying to steal the dolls for a plot to wipe out the American population with deadly bird flu. Yes, Osama Bin Ladin is really a main character in a fictional movie. The plot veers off in all kinds of jaw-droppingly insane directions, to the point where one of the characters actually points out how absolutely none of this makes any sense.
The strange thing is that I didn't utterly despise this movie and give it the ol' balls 'n shaft with a 0/10. Uwe Boll displays such... well... I don't know if "courage" is the right word here, it's more akin to a lack of sensitivity, like a quadriplegic who doesn't realize that their shoes are on fire. There are individual moments which are so surreal that... I laughed. I couldn't help it. Seeing Verne Troyer getting raped by a thousand monkeys (yes) or a bunch of little kids getting mowed down by machine gun fire (yes) or Osama and Bush frolicking through a field of wheat while mushroom clouds rise in the background (yes), that's just the kind of shit you're not going to see anywhere else. And it's probably a very good thing you won't see them anywhere else. But by the time that Boll shows up in a cameo as himself, admitting that he finances all his movies with Nazi gold and that he's sexually attracted to children, and then the creator of the Postal video game jumps out and beats the shit out of him for making such a shitty movie out of his game... I mean... damn. There are Uwe Boll movies which I would proudly get some friends together and watch, and we'll get shitfaced while howling at the madness of it all. Then there are the somewhat more competent Boll films which are just bad in a lame and mediocre manner, which aren't even worth watching once. This film thankfully resides in the first category. | | Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 | | 6:39 pm |
Mike Patton on Wolfmother
In honor of the news that Wolfmother is apparently breaking up, I give you Mike Patton's views on Wolfmother. BTW, I love the dude off-camera's comment, because it's so dead on. "It's only like the sixth Zeppelin band this year." Oh, and for additional giggles, Ernest Borgnine tells us the secret to living many long, healthy years: Ernie rules for that. | | Thursday, August 7th, 2008 | | 9:14 am |
Posting movie reviews for content!
And herein, we review one of the more infamous movies of the last 30 years. Cannibal Holocaust - Rating: 6/10 Watched this one again tonight; it has the distinction of being one of those late 70s / early 80s exploitation flicks that made it onto the UK's video nasty list, as well as being banned in several other countries. And, like so many other films that are billed as being among the most disturbing of all time, it's not really all that unsettling after all. The plot is broken up into two parts; the first half of the film involves a famous anthropologist traveling to the "Green Inferno", a remote part of the Amazon jungle, to search for what happened to a documentary crew that disappeared some weeks / months prior. Seems that the crew ran afoul of the cannibal tribes in the region, and the latter half of the film is devoted to showing us the footage that the crew took which fills in the backstory as to how they met their unsavory ends. Once the footage is show, however, you basically find out that the documentary crew were all a bunch of sociopathic cunts who pretty much got EXACTLY what they deserved by having the unimaginable idiocy to fuck with a cannibal tribe that outnumbered them on their home turf. For all of the fervor over the film's violence and disturbing scenes, there really isn't anything here that's really all that graphic or terribly disturbing - at least towards the human characters. There's one scene at the very end where one of the documentary crew is castrated, beheaded, and then dismembered and devoured, which is probably not for some with weak stomachs, but even that isn't as remotely fucked up as.....well, just about anything in Hostel 2. Don't get me wrong, there's some stuff in here that the average person would find offensive (there's several scenes of rape, for instance), but nothing is really over the top, and far more graphic stuff could be found in all sorts of grindhouse / exploitation films of the 70s / early 80s (such as "Bloodsucking Freaks", which is probably on the lower end as far as video nasties go, or "I Spit On Your Grave", with it's prolonged rape scene[s]). What truly earned this film its banning in a lot of countries was the violence towards animals. It's here, and it's completely real. Some of the violence is quick and, IMO, inoffensive - I'm not shedding a tear for a spider getting chopped in half or a snake getting decapitated (even though I found the killing of such creatures just for the scene to be completely unnecessary). The really sick shit though, comes in the killing of the various other animals - a giant turtle which is decapitated and then dismembered and eaten (it's fucking severed head still twitches), a coatmundi is slaughtered, a spider monkey gets its face chopped off, and a pig is abused and then shot by one of the actors. This is the sort of shit which just makes you angry to see, because these are REAL animals dying solely to add a touch of realism to the film (and it worked a little too well, because law enforcement authorities actually thought this movie was one big snuff film, and investigated it accordingly), and all in all, I found the deaths to just be very depressing. All that said, if you can get past that, the film is actually one of the better exploitation films I've seen, and it's got a good social commentary message - even if the protagonist does have to bluntly bludgeon us with it in the film's final line of dialogue. | | Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 | | 6:40 pm |
State of the Union
In which I give a brief update about me. Sorry I haven't been online in......about three months at this point. It's been a somewhat steady stream of shit I've had to deal with in life. A family emergency which had a family member in the hospital.....two states away; another family member having some life-threatening surgery; some hectic and unpleasant shit going down at work (I need another job and like NOW); a friend of mine finding out he's been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has maybe as little as two months to live. I don't bring all of this up to have a pity party for myself, cause that's never been my deal. I just mention all of this in passing to explain that, while I haven't been around, it's because there's been a lot of shit going on which has either taken up my time or just mentally and emotionally drained me. Doesn't quite make up for me being incommunicado for so long, I just hope that you-all will just understand why I sort of took a step back. Hopefully, I'll be on MSN more often now, though. I hope all of you are well. | | Thursday, January 10th, 2008 | | 8:11 am |
You will shit bricks.
So a friend of mine sent me a link to a game trailer for the upcoming fighting game, Soul Calibur IV, coming out this summer. This trailer, actually.I thought, well, that's nice, I suppose, but I'm not really that big of a fan of fighting games. It's been a long time ago since I was enamored with games like Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. He says, no, you have to stick with the video until towards the end. So I did. And HOLY SHIT. | | Thursday, January 4th, 2007 | | 10:37 pm |
| | Friday, December 22nd, 2006 | | 12:18 am |
SNL does something funny for once.
Credit has to go to comedian Andy Samberg, who seems to be one of the few SNL cast members producing consistently funny material. Also, gotta give some respect to Justin Timberlake, who completely makes this video work. It's been circulating around on the net quite often these last few days, but here it is again, for your amusement: Dick in a Box! | | Tuesday, December 5th, 2006 | | 12:23 pm |
YES.
I'd been talking about this show for years, and now, someone finally put it up on the net. This was broadcast on UPN in the late 90s - it was probably a low-budget straight-to-video release before that, but it didn't have as much exposure as the UPN special gave it. The basic story: a family is getting together for a big dinner, I believe for Thanksgiving. They're out in the sticks, one of those deals where the nearest neighbor is like a mile away and there are farms everywhere. Anyway, they notice some strange lights and things going on that night, and find out that they've had the misfortune of being visited by some rather hostile Grays. The 'footage' is shot via hand-held camcorder, first-person style by one of the family members, and it's played straight, which gives the whole entire film a VERY creepy, Blair-Witch-style "This is REAL" vibe. UPN actually wrapped this film up with produced extra segments which were supposedly UFO experts talking about the footage as if it was legit and discussing the 'disappearance' of the family depicted inside it. IMO, this is remarkably effective little film, establishing a real sense of tension and fear, more so than hundreds of big-budget Hollywood produced films. A favorite of mine. I give you: Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County | | Sunday, November 12th, 2006 | | 1:51 pm |
| | Thursday, November 2nd, 2006 | | 1:37 pm |
| | Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 | | 6:16 pm |
In honor of Wilek.
A spam email I got recently.
It starts off somewhat normal:
All real SwissWatches should have the following-
.Genuine 18 karat and Sterling Silver.
.In Stock and Immediate Delivery.
.Water proof, at least for regular swimming purposes.
www.lert<jowww^<.[customerlnanimalsa[.polishboo.com
Regards,
Vernon Kaufmant
But then......it gets weird....
and alcohol earth the flowers knitting but running facts was plead a=
uditor it happiness feeling in decal f and red turnpike it's countries=
indispensable in aged flexible
the ones encourage may courses amuse or does penrose as commitment t=
alker what throat sissy may agencies declared not mobcap gets the cauc=
asus jurisdiction when confectionery situation
Uh..........yeah.
| | Monday, September 11th, 2006 | | 9:02 pm |
In Memoriam.
Doesn't quite seem like five years since that day, has it? But it's been half a decade already. A lot of shit has happened since then.
Of course, since it's the anniversary of THAT day, it gives these fucking VULTURES in the media the opportunity to show every heartwrenching piece of video tape they can, in order to milk the tragedy for all they can. They want your tears, cause it's good for their ratings. All they focus on is the sorrow of that day, and of course it's depressing as hell, but they don't focus on the anger at all. And that's really the emotion I feel the most of on this day. The absolutely SEETHING anger at what happened to us, and the fact that we still haven't killed enough of these people or succeeded yet in wiping their bastardized religion of zealotry off the face of the planet yet.
Anyway, I'm going to reprint a brief editorial bit from the Ace of Spades blog, as I think it sums up our enemy, and why our enemy is fighting us, quite well.
Their motives are a mystery only to those who are determined to avoid the motive the murderers proudly declare themselves. They do not hate you because of Iraq. They do not hate you because of Kyoto. They do not hate you because of "US foreign policy." They do not hate you because of "American hegemony." They do not hate you because of globalization -- at least as that term is typically understood. They hate you because their lunatic understanding of their religion compels them to hate you, and to murder you, and to convert the world to Allah, and murder those unwilling to accept his Religon of Extortion. They hate you because Allah, they believe, has dictated that the most fanatical, most piously murderous of Muslims shall be the kings of the earth and the masters of all creation, and your very existence -- free, prosperous, technologically advanced, happy -- is a blasphemy to them. They cannot hope to overtake the West, or even the modernizing parts of Thailand, in fifty years, or even a hundred years, or even in five hundred years, through attempts to raise the Islamic world up. Which means they are commanded to lay the Western world down low. The West is despised because it offers an alternative to the thuggish, primative, barbarous, woman-enslaving, honor-killing culture-cum-twisted-religion in which they believe. And which therefore threatens the power of the lunatic theocrats to keep control over their populations. You can't keep them down on the madrassa once they've seen the big city. They don't hate you because of your freedom -- not exactly. They hate you because you are a living demonstration that freedom works, and that their ways are backwards and barbarous. And they will not stop hating you until you are either dead or enslaved along with them in their dark death-cult.
Well said.
Now, five years from now, you know what I'd like to see? At the very least, the foundation / frame for a couple of brand new Towers right there at ground zero. Get off your fucking asses, stop listening to the IDIOTS who just want to put a fucking memorial there, and start building. | | Friday, September 1st, 2006 | | 10:45 pm |
Enraged.
So my PC seems to have decided to destroy itself. I turn it on this morning, it won't boot up. Eventually, I get the dreaded "Load needed DLL for kernel" message, which I am to later find out means that for some reason, my operating system is pretty much fried. Never had I had any hint of a problem with this computer in the year since I've had it. Not one issue. I've literally spent all DAY (approaching.....12 hours at this point) trying to fix this. Couldn't find a copy of the system disc for it, and I'm not even sure if one ever existed (seems to me it came with XP already installed, and it wasn't with the other material I had specifically for this computer - and I am NOT likely to have just removed the system disc and placed it elsewhere). I've been trying to reinstall Windows with a separate disc I have, but that doesn't seem to be working, and in fact it's literally taking HOURS to do it. I'm no computer expert, but I'm guessing that isn't normal.....or good. It's looking more and more like I may have to just totally reformat the hard drive (ASSUMING that will work with this other disc - which is not a given). This is very bad, since much of my files on this computer were not backed up. At all. I'm talking GIGS of data. Potentially just......gone. I don't like to use hyperbole much, but......this is rather catastrophic. |
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